"I Ain't Gonna Let it Worry Me"

The speakers of the long time family vehicle only scream silence as the worn steering wheel shakes violently obviously from the result of a year’s past due alignment. Instead of facing and resolving all of the issues in her life that pop up in her face and lie dormant tormenting her mind, she decides to settle with a consistent self made pep talk which she often recites to herself quietly throughout the day, “ I ain’t  gonna let it worry me.” No, she is not in denial, she knows very well that her life is in shambles. Her husband of nearly 13 years is a faithful cheater and openly parades around the already small town openly with his young mistress. But she won’t let it worry her. Of course she cares, it hurts but she can’t bring herself to leave him. They argue, she stresses, and progressive hair loss is the conclusion. Barely forty and already the gaps in the back of her mouth where healthy teeth used to call their home are the evidence that stress has gotten the best of her. Her nerves jump and long black lashes flutter as she drives steadily on the rural road home tired from the sleepless nights. She quietly groans even though she travels alone as to hide her pain caused from a mild stomach ulcer, yet another diagnoses due to stress. Worse, she filed bankrupt yesterday, husband won’t work, doesn’t think he is obligated but her babies still need to be fed. They are old enough now to know when times are hard and food is low, lights are off and gas doesn’t work. She won’t let it worry her, she still has to handle her business. Her mind wanders off as she thinks upon her situation…she wanders why God has forsaken her after she has been such a good Christian woman. Why does her husband choose to be with her yet be without her? Why can’t she let him go even though she knows he is bad for her health. Her mind wanders a bit further to the thought of driving her rickety old bucket off road and into one of the Red Oaks up yonder to end it all but a burst of energy pops her eyes open as she snatches the wheel straight leading the car into its rightful place back on the road. Those nights of interrupted sleeps during cry filled nights haven’t won yet. She musters her strength and continues her trip towards home while quietly whispering, “I ain’t gonna let it worry me.”