Ok so I’ve been seeing a lot those of those little picture post things on Facebook talking about the definitions of real women concerning the father of their children. I wasn’t going to say anything at first but I kept seeing more and more of the same posts just worded differently. My concern , being that I happen to be a single parent(for the last 5 years) who has had to make some pretty stern and concrete decisions for the safety of my daughter, is that the young women who read these posts and have made a decision to cut all ties from the biological fathers for very valid reasons will start to doubt that she is not a “Real Woman” and end up placing both herself and her child back into the line of fire.
No, lets clear things up, I DO NOT believe it is right for a woman to keep a man from his children out of spite just because the relationship went sour. I do know and believe that there a plenty loving and responsible men out there who are good fathers and desire nothing but the best for their kids but are suffering due to immature females. That’s wrong, dead wrong. Who I am talking about are the men out there who are truly heartless or so confused in the head that they like to use the fact that they have a child by a women to control THEM. The violent and abusive men that didn’t care that they were beating their women when they were pregnant or afterwards in front of the kids. Another scenario..maybe he’s just so irresponsible that he puts his children in harm’s way by always being drunk or high around them..or having different people running in and out of his house while his babies are there. What about if he is so dang spiteful himself that he would go so far as to set YOU up to get your child taken away just because you want out of the relationship or refuse to bow down to him? Shoot it can be as simple as him being the type of man that makes his daughters/ sons promises to come around and continuously breaks them..leaving those babies heartbroken over and over again because of his selfishness, knowing good and well he doesn’t really want anything to do with them. Lastly, just like in Tyler Perry’s movie…what if he is the type that is so vengeful, he would kill his own children?
Hey, I’m sorry but this is REAL ladies. As mothers we have to count up the cost and make these kinds of decisions because just being real...we made the decisions to lie down and make a baby with a man who didn’t belong to us in the first place. Amen an Ouch. I live this everyday but I know what God told me after I came into salvation (when I was pregnant with my daughter) and I stand firm on that no matter what anybody says. I know I will have to cross the bridge of explanation when my daughter gets old enough to understand but that’s just one bullet I’ll have to bite and deal with it when that time comes. Be wise ladies, pray and always lean on Jesus for guidance because this is a very sensitive subject but it IS life! Don’t make any decisions based on your own emotions but don’t change your decisions based on intimidation of him or his family. If he lies and runs your name through the mud to make you look like a terrible person that is just keeping him away for unknown reasons...then so be it! Only you, him, and God knows what was happening behind closed doors and why you did what you had to do. Count up the costs, ask yourself: What will my child benefit from having this man in his/her life as a father? Will myself or my child be in harm’s way? After all, what good will you be to your baby from the grave? This may sound harsh, but hey we know it’s reality.
I do not agree with playing the victim but I do believe in standing your ground of truth. When I was on vacation last summer out of town, my friend introduced me to the show Love and Hip Hop. Now I don’t watch much TV so those few episodes I watched when I was there were the only ones I seen. What I’m going to say is that I can identify with and felt K.Michelle when she exposed her ex for abuse but was being bashed by his new wife and her friend because he didn’t “seem like that type”. Well honey, on the spiritual side I have learned and do know that certain people are on assignment in your life to bring only death and destruction…especially when you have purpose. He might be loving and gentle to every other woman…but to you…he was sent for one reason…TO TAKE YOU OUT! Now I don’t know her story, I wasn’t there so I’m not accusing the man because I’m not God but like I said I can identify with the situation.
If your ex has a new boo, then so be it. If they look happy and seem happy, then so be it. If his new woman comes at you with all the lies and deception that HE filled her naïve head with, then so be it…would you have expected anything else? Stand your ground ladies, stay in the Will of God for your life. Keep close to that man named Jesus Christ and He won’t let anything sneak upon you. I’m a living witness of victory baby. The past is behind, all has been forgiven, but my decision stands and my daughter is my healthy living testimony of Gods power. Be blessed!
