Woman in Lights

Oh if I could just be that woman in lights. Name full of gain with a conscience of no shame, traveling the world, my feet set ablaze. The glamour would consume me and the fame would probably misuse me but the rhythm would be just one in the same. Selling my soul would be minor due to the joy of all my favorite designers. Oh if I could be that woman. The lights would drown out my inward sorrow and relieve the pressure of having accountability for my tomorrows. That woman, if I could just be she. The downward cascade of depression emptying into my voided soul would be erased at least for a moment in passing…one at a time each moment I sign my name on the dotted line of a credit card purchase. The meaning of fun would be wrapped in my legs who carry me left and right. To the clubs of deceit and the beauty parlors of defeat those legs would travel so genuinely. France, Rhome, Italy…that woman should surly be me! I thirst, I thirst to be in her seat! A flick, a flash and there goes my integrity. Anything for that almighty dollar, yen, or euro would be alright with me. Vanity would reign as my ever present now and everyday could be a spa day set for me as long as I bow. Bowing to my desires to be that woman in lights. I’m ready, I’m ready to throwall my innocence out the door! Being devoured by fools and stomped by mules is something quite minute to me. Oh the love of life, the love of the kite that soars with the lust of my own mind. It spreads its flaps and prolongs it flight soon manifesting on the outside. That woman! That woman is calling my name...in vain, for me only to be ashamed. Extending the invitation to reach within myself only to withdraw a secret nation of more deranged personalities. Forever and ever in spiritual filth but at least she’ll finally be me, what I’ve always been after my years of maturity…just failed to fully see. It’s what I want so there’s no changing the much and mire in me. Keep your prayers. Don’t offer me hyssop…don’t bring me myrrh. I pledge to be dirty as long as I get to wear expensive furs. Woman in lights I accept your dark covenant let’s catch the next plain and leave on the double…to my double life of both importance and nothing to be filled with desertion and neglection and eventually rejection. It’s ok. It’s alright. Just let me be. Please let me be that woman for a awhile…that woman in dangerous lights.